How to Be Fully Present on Your Wedding Day

00:00 Welcome to We Love That For You, a wedding podcast with personality, perspective, and plenty of heart. We are Chris and Jackie from Lime Line Entertainment and we’re here to help you plan your best day ever.

00:12 Without the stress. a wedding couple. Your wedding day goes by really fast. So being fully present doesn’t just happen by accident, something that you have to plan for.

00:41 It comes from, you know, planning ahead, trusting the right people, letting go of control in the moment, which is important, and building a wedding day experience where you’re not constantly answering questions, micromanaging, checking the time, checking the timeline, checking in on your vendors, worrying

00:58 about what’s coming next. This episode is going to help viewers and listeners understand how to protect their piece, which I think is extremely important.

01:08 Stay connected to each other during the day, I also feel like that’s really important to. And actually enjoy the day they spent so much time planning.

01:16 So yeah, so Chris, as far as being fully present goes, what do you think it actually means to be fully present on your wedding day?

01:25 Well, the thing is, the day goes by so quick, right? So, you really need to just kind of like sit back and take it all in and soak it in.

01:35 So, to me, being fully present on the wedding day is really just putting your trust in the professionals to take care of what they have to take care of and just let the day kind of like unfold and happen naturally.

01:48 And then just so so that you can you’re not overthinking, you know, you know, you’re not overthinking about like everything that has to go on.

01:58 Like really just like enjoy the day, enjoy the moment, be there, enjoy each other. That’s why I think being fully present on your wedding day means.

02:05 Do you feel like you were fully present on our wedding day? Yeah, absolutely, definitely. Yeah, I think that well, I think that we might have said this on the podcast, But I know we say it a lot, whether it be like, you know, in our story, when we tell our story on our website or wherever, but I think

02:23 the foundation of us starting this business was based off of our wedding experience and how we had such an amazing day.

02:32 And what was that due to the fact of, due to the fact of a few things, but, you know, one of the main factors being our vendor team and and just being able to trust everything was happening.

02:44 Which is it. Yeah, I had full trust in everybody that was involved in that day. I had, like I said, I had full trust in everybody that was involved with our wedding.

02:57 So I literally went into the day with just the sense of peace. Yeah. And it was like, I’m just gonna enjoy this.

03:06 I’m gonna have a great time. I’m not gonna overthink about everything. The only thing I’m going to think about is just, you know, you know, allowing these memories to sink in.

03:17 Yeah, and I feel like you, I don’t know about you, but I feel like I remember a lot of our wedding day.

03:23 Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And all of the memories that I have are really coming from a place of just pure joy, lots of fun.

03:31 Yeah, definitely. I really can’t say there was any one stressful moment that day, like it was just, but we were fully present And I think that that’s a gift that I would love to give to all of our couples, so.

03:43 Yeah, absolutely. So that’s what this episode is about. I really want to talk about the things that couples can do to remain fully present and just how to plan for the day and how to let go on the day of.

03:57 Cool. Yeah. So I guess my question to you would be, why does so many couples feel like their wedding day flies by?

04:06 Well, there’s a lot of things, there’s a lot of moving parts. So I feel like couples feel like they’re wedding day flies by, well not only because you are being told that all the day is leading up to your wedding day, but then on the wedding day, there’s just a lot of moving parts and a lot of things

04:21 that are happening that day. So the day does fly by and if you don’t give yourself the different pockets and different opportunities to stop and think, and absorb, and create those core memories, like we’ll talk about in a little bit, that I think that it can go by really fast, and you wake up the next

04:42 morning, you’re like, oh, I know that we had a fully present day, but I do remember one specific moment from our wedding day where we were cutting the cake, and I couldn’t believe because cutting the cake signified, wow, we only have an hour left.

04:56 Yeah, it’s totally one hour left of this. Definitely. I just remember saying to myself, I can’t believe that that went so quickly and we were fully present and we fully enjoyed the day.

05:07 So I think there’s just a lot of factors that come into play when it, you know, you say that couples feel like they’re one in day flies by.

05:16 So we’re gonna talk about a couple of different ways that we can, for different ways and different things of advice, ways that you can kind of plan ahead and kind of allow yourself to be fully present, so basically we want to talk about making decisions beforehand, making sure you have a strong timeline

05:37 , being organized, making sure that you’re organized and that you have a plan ahead of time, allowing that to help you relax and giving yourself less to manage on the day of.

05:49 So one thing that I think is super important about a wedding day is having a timeline. So me as the lead of our photography department, I write a photo timeline for all of our couples for the wedding day.

06:05 So it kind of helps to strategize the day, helps to map things out, helps to give you little pockets of time, I build time into it just to make sure things remain cushioned.

06:17 So having that timeline really helps you have a plan going into the day. All right, so speaking of timelines, Jack, how would you say a good timeline helps a couple stay emotionally present on their day?

06:31 So a good timeline will help a couple stay emotionally present on their wedding day by allowing them to have space and allowing them to have those moments filled with emotion.

06:41 So if we’re talking about a couple that prefers to do a first look. There’s time built into that first look.

06:51 Something that our couples have been doing lately is vow readings to each other that build some emotional presence, especially when you’re reading your own vows to each other at that moment with just your photo video team and, you know, present for it.

07:06 So then there’s also options or opportunities throughout the photo timeline that I leave before the ceremony and things like that.

07:14 There’s It’s just different ways that we build our photo timeline to make sure that the couple can remain emotionally present.

07:21 But also having that timeline written ahead of time, put in the right hands ahead of time, just means that the couple can say, okay, now I get to sit back and I get to let my team guide my day.

07:36 And I am just a passenger at this point, just a passenger with my partner and we’re just We’re just going to enjoy.

07:44 We’re going to enjoy our wedding party. We’re going to enjoy our family. We’re going to enjoy the picture, taking the photo, the video, filming, and everything’s paced perfectly.

07:55 And then leaving it into the hands of an entertainment company that will also take things, you know, take the day, you know, and lead the day with confidence, with structure, with a plan.

08:09 I think it’s really just all about planning. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I think it’s really just about planning making sure you plan ahead of time proper planning goes a long way So what’s one timeline mistake that Can make couples feel rushed?

08:24 Yeah something that something new avoid basically Yeah, so when it comes to the timeline and things in the timeline that can make a couple feel rushed is when you over stuff it so I I can completely understand daydreaming about your wedding.

08:40 I can completely understand thinking about your venue or thinking about your friends and family and thinking about all the things that you would want pictures of or even at reception, events that you want to do, formalities that you want to do.

08:55 Like this kind of a ceremony or that kind of a ceremony or I want to do a horror into a this, into that, into that over stuffing the timeline, line, I think is where there can be, I don’t want to say it’s a mistake because we always want to honor what our couples are dreaming of, but we also want to 

09:18 make sure that we’re creating balance and we’re creating a day that they can look back on and say they fully enjoyed, they didn’t feel rushed, they didn’t feel like they weren’t present, that the day didn’t fly by and they weren’t allowed any moment of time where they had any time for each other or themselves

09:37 . So I think over stuffing a timeline can really be a mistake, a slight mistake that couples will make that will kind of force them to not maybe be fully present that day.

09:52 Gotcha. And that’s where we kind of will give the guidance. I can guide you. I can tell you, hey, listen, maybe we should leave some extra time here, extra time there.

10:04 But at the end of the day, we’re there for you. So just keeping in mind, though, that you only have a certain amount of time.

10:14 And you want to be able to enjoy it all. Yeah, absolutely. What is one of the most underrated decisions couples make that can affect how smooth their wedding day feels?

10:25 So one of the most underrated decisions a couple can make that would affect how smooth their wedding day is is I would say their vendor choice.

10:35 So what you want to make sure that you’re doing when you’re interviewing vendors when you’re evaluating the different options that are out there and asking them questions like if you’re on discovery calls ask them like what’s your communication look like?

10:52 What is what is your leadership style, and how do you feel like you do when you’re asked to work as a team?

11:01 And I want you to really evaluate those vendors and listen to their answers and genuinely feel their answers out. Because if someone can confidently answer that question, and if you can have vendors that will all get together, communicate well with each other, lead the team, lead their individual teams

11:23 , but also work as a team with each other, which each vendor separately, then I think that that decision is one of the most important decisions.

11:36 So I feel like it might be a little underrated when couples are going out and they’re just picking based off of other aspects.

11:44 So at the end of the day, that leads me to the next segment, which was choosing vendors you trust. So when you choose, that was something on our wedding day where I feel like we chose, well, our entertainment was our entertainment.

11:57 So we knew we chose entertainment wisely. That was an easy decision. But choosing other vendors that you trust was really important.

12:05 Our photographer was absolutely amazing that day. She felt like a friend. She was super fun. She guided our timeline. She helped us throughout the day and she didn’t add stress to the day.

12:18 she really alleviated that stress. So I think choosing vendors that you trust, choosing vendors that are well. We should add that we didn’t really handle wedding photography at this point.

12:32 We were not a photography. We did not have a photography division when Chris and I got married. So we did hire outside of our team for photography.

12:43 Yeah. But that was a great connection in the long But yeah, I think that was really what tied it all together as far as like us allowing us to be present that day was even the venue with the venue.

12:57 We just knew we hadn’t we were in good hands. It was like here’s all of our stuff. Here’s how we’d like it set up.

13:04 They were wonderful and guiding us all along the way being super responsive whenever I emailed. I’m a type A kind of person, so I emailed a lot, and all of our vendors just were heavy on communication and I think that really allowed us to be fully present on our wedding day.

13:23 I really think that assisted in the overall amazing experience that we had. Yeah, definitely. I was comfortable with everything. Yeah.

13:32 Which is probably why I wasn’t really worried about anything throughout the day. You’re just calm and cool as a cucumber usually all the time, so it was like whatever, but we just had a really great day.

13:45 Exactly. Okay, so on the topic of vendor trust, what does it look like when a couple really trust their vendor team?

13:53 I would say joy, presence, calm, like all of those adjectives. just you can tell like you can really tell when a couple or at least one partner in the couple isn’t connected to the other partner and is more worried about what’s happening around them.

14:14 And you can tell when they’ve completely fully let go and let their day become theirs. So I’d say that would be a joy, presence, calm.

14:25 So here’s a question, what do you suggest in a situation where, you know, you have a type A couple, right?

14:36 You’re a type A person. Very type A. Right? You know what you want. Yeah. And sometimes couples are the same way.

14:44 They have this vision, they have this idea, they know what they want. So what would you suggest in like guiding that type of person?

14:52 and allowing them to be present on their day. Yeah, putting that trust in their vendors. Yeah, that’s a good question.

15:00 And I think I was planning to touch on it later on, but I’ll talk about it now too. Oh, okay.

15:05 No, no, no, no, I think it’s a great question because I am a type A person. And there’s only one thing you can do when you are that kind of a type A person and that’s plan as much as you can.

15:18 And that’s why I take these timelines. and I make such the make them so important such an important part of our experience because at the end of the day like you can plan as much as you possibly can up until the day of them I wouldn’t say the morning of but like the night before because you really want

15:36 to enjoy the night before with your friends and family however you’re choosing to enjoy that moment too but plan as much as you possibly can up until that moment whether it be the rehearsal dinner or your sleepover with your girlfriends or whatever the case may be, plan as much as you can up until that

15:53 moment and then let go. Just let it go. You gotta let it go. You have to. You have to because you’ve done everything you can.

16:04 If there’s something that’s gonna go wrong, take it in stride, roll with the punches, but your joy cannot be replaced.

16:13 Yeah, because in the end, it’s these little details, you’re going to forget about them. We could tell you firsthand 12 years later, it’s not going to matter.

16:24 It’s not going to matter because where are we right now in a strong, healthy marriage, but we’re not really like, we don’t sit and metal on the little details that we cannot control.

16:35 Yeah, you can’t. You can’t control it. So, that would be my advice, and that would lead me into communication before the wedding day, and how relaxed couples will feel on the actual wedding day when it comes to communicating before the wedding day.

16:51 So, great communication ahead of the wedding day makes a couple feel like there’s leadership. It gives them a sense of confidence or peace that all details have been communicated, and now they can let go and relax and enjoy everything they plan.

17:07 So, when you’re looking at vendors, you want to talk to them about their communication skills. You want to know that they’re going to answer you in a timely fashion.

17:17 Sure. You want to just feel like you’re being heard and that your questions are being answered. So, that is important.

17:25 So, when you’re interviewing these vendors, talk about communication. I’ve said it in a past episode. I’m going to say it over and over and over again.

17:34 and make sure you ask your potential vendors what their communication style is leading up until the wedding day. Do you have regular email touch points that you will reach out to me?

17:47 Like let’s say I’m the couple, I’m the bride. Do you have communications that you will automatically reach out to me about?

17:56 How many days, what’s your response rate? Like what is your time frame for responding to emails? Are you a Monday to Friday?

18:07 If you take off on Monday because you work all weekend, are you a Tuesday to Thursday? Like what are the days that you can expect an email back?

18:16 And I think having that information before booking your vendor and then also having that information after booking that vendor is going to make you feel more confident in the days leading up to your wedding.

18:30 You’re not going to be wondering what time are they coming are they going to come are they they haven’t answered any of my emails back What’s the plan for today?

18:39 There are no questions. That’s yeah open communication That’s the point is to have all of your questions answered Before you get to your wedding day and then waking up and being able to just Enjoy it ride the wave.

18:55 Sure. Mm-hmm. What can so here’s a good question And I can ask you about what we just touched on. What can happen when vendors don’t communicate well with each other?

19:07 Like what do you think could happen? When vendors don’t communicate well with each other. Like on that winning day. Well each other or well with the couple?

19:16 Like what do you think is gonna happen? Oh man, so many things. So many things. So things. So many things.

19:21 If there’s not good communication on the wedding day. I mean, important moments can be missed. If the DJ decides to go into formalities without letting the photography and videography team know that they’re going into formalities, then a photo can be missed.

19:39 I haven’t missed the moment, but I’ve had them start a formality and I’ve had to drop everything I was doing.

19:44 Yeah, it could be anything. It could be the start of the introductions, it could be announcing the cake cutting. It could be announcing a surprise dance, right?

19:58 Sometimes couples want to do like a surprise special dance for maybe the bride wants to dance with her mother and they don’t group that all together with all the rest of the parent dances up front.

20:09 They do it maybe towards the end of dinner. And just making sure that that communication is there with the photo and video team like, hey, listen, we’re doing a surprise special dance It’s happening at the end of dinner.

20:21 I want to make sure that you’re in the room. You’re ready for it. You know, don’t want you to miss that.

20:25 So yeah, I mean, it’s really, really important between vendors and then also just communication between the vendor and the client is really important because you want to make sure, like for me, right?

20:38 I want to make sure that we are all on the same page, right? I want to make sure that the client feels comfortable with everything.

20:44 They have a good understanding of how the day is going to unfold. And I want to make sure that they know that we have everything that we need to provide them with a great night, great time, and all of that is done through proper communication.

20:59 So without that, you know, there’s a lot of guessing. Exactly. That would be like if you, let’s say you didn’t have strong communication with your couples like we do, where we do the questionnaires and the phone calls beforehand, and you’re haven’t given my DJ my first dance song or my cake cutting song

21:23 or I haven’t decided on a cake cutting song or we haven’t reviewed any of these details. And then now you’re having to communicate that to your team on the day of.

21:33 I mean, I feel like we work with our industry here in New Jersey is very strong. I feel like we we 97% of the time work with other extremely professional wedding vendors.

21:47 Yeah, absolutely. There’s a lot of great vendors. This is advice going out to anyone out there, planning a wedding, just make sure that you’re working with somebody professional who is going to plan with you before the wedding day.

22:01 Answer all the questions, ask all the questions, make all the edits and adjustments before the wedding day. Once in a while you’ll have somebody tell you while you’re doing introduction line-ups, Hey, we switched these people around, but that’s that’s going to happen if the couple decides to make any

22:17 last minute changes. But the whole idea of this segment is to plan as much as you can before the wedding day.

22:25 We to say that you can be present so that you can be present so we want to we want to make sure that you’re fully immersed in enjoying your wedding day and this is how you would do it.

22:36 So in this next section, we’re talking about building in private moments. So I think this really touches back to our photography timeline.

22:44 So this is definitely going back to your photo, video, vendors, and building in private moments. But I guess we could really pull some DJ moments in there too if we wanted to talk about that last song of the night moment again.

22:58 But anyway, building in intentional pauses throughout the day will really help you be present throughout the day. And this is going to go back to my timeline.

23:10 where I talk about first looks and private vowel readings and building time and space before the ceremony. There’s a quite a few ways that you can build these moments in.

23:23 So one moment that you can build in is a first look. Now, this has to be a you thing. This can’t be something forced and something that you don’t prefer.

23:34 So if you prefer a first look, this is a great moment for you to have that snapshot got, build that private moment and build that core memory.

23:44 So I will always say this on my final calls too. I build about a 15, 20 minute first look and I tell my couples, I’m like at the end of the day, the actual first look takes maybe five minutes, but I want you to utilize as many of those minutes as possible.

24:00 I have 20 set aside, I have 15 set aside, uses many as you possibly can and talk to each other, enjoy each other.

24:10 How was your morning today? Take that snapshot in your head, that core memory, because when you look back at this point in time when you’re 10, 12 years married, that is going to be a moment that you will be able to go back to.

24:26 Some of the little in between moments, maybe not so much, but this particular moment, I want you to solidify it as a core memory.

24:35 So building a first look into your timeline is really a great way to be present. It adds a little bit more buffer to your day, and it definitely gives more breathing room to your day so that you’re not feeling rushed and you’re not fast forwarding the day.

24:52 A private vowel reading right after that is another great moment that you can build in just a little bit of a personal private moment for yourself.

25:04 So if you are the type of person to write vows, then that would be a great time to read them to each other.

25:13 So that is going to also, it’s going to enhance your videography option if you go with the documentary because those vows will be able to be used layered in.

25:26 So yeah, and first look is one way of building in a personal private moment with each other. another way to build in a personal private moment with each other is a vowel reading if you feel like you are one to write your own vows.

25:41 What we could do is we could move right from a first look into a vowel reading to each other that creates a nice emotional personal moment for each other.

25:52 Another like area where you have some breathing room and it’s not stand here come here who’s going there and all that.

26:01 And then also I like to build space and time in before the ceremony. So something that I noticed when I was working my way up the ranks in the wedding photography world is a lot of the times we would run right from taking photos right into, oh my gosh, we have five, 10 minutes to set up for ceremony 

26:20 and let’s go. And I felt, I mean, as part of the photography if you team, I felt like the experience was I’m here to work.

26:30 So it doesn’t matter if it’s rushed. But then my thoughts were on the couple, where I’m like, well, how does that feel for someone to be jumping right from like, stand here, smile here, smile with mom, smile with dad, smile with, and then, okay, everybody get in line.

26:45 We’re gonna start a ceremony. Like how does that feel? There’s like no moment for time to like slow down and there’s no moment for like thoughts, you know?

26:54 your emotions to start building you’re about to walk down the aisle like let those emotions build and I think that having that time is really important you know taking another way to build in time ahead of the day is to let your photography team know you want to take five or ten minutes after the ceremony

27:13 just the two of you take five or ten minutes that’s a nice idea yeah sit alone some of our venues that we work with push it and I like that it’s like here’s all of the different foods that you can get during cocktail hour.

27:27 Here’s your signature drink, sit down and have your like some of them even call it like the first meal as as a married couple.

27:35 Really? Yeah. That’s pretty cool. Yeah. I think I think Crystal Point does like a little sign. It’s like our first meal.

27:42 Okay. I didn’t even know that there’s something like that it’s really cute. And a lot of other vendors that we work with do that as well.

27:49 They really like that. And I like it. I like to be able to honor that for our couples. I’ve never seen that because I’m usually wrapping up the scene.

27:56 Yeah. But yeah. So like just building in those moments here and there. And that kind of brings me to another point where I feel like it was like some of the best advice we were given for our wedding day was when our good friend Mike told us to like take snapshots.

28:14 Different moments of the day. Do you remember Mike saying? Yeah, yeah, literally said the day goes by really quick just make sure that you sit there and you take it all in yeah, and just Build a snapshot like look around look around the room during reception exactly.

28:30 Yeah, look around the room I feel like I’ve seen a fishy and say this during ceremonies look around the room at everyone you love So building those moments and building those snapshots in is super important Do we think that every couple should do a first look?

28:47 I feel strongly about doing first looks, but we will honor any couple who does not want to do a first look.

28:55 I understand. And the reason why you feel strongly about it is because it allows more time for them to be present on the day.

29:04 100%. Yeah. So it’s just to really write down your pros and cons kind of thing. Exactly. Yeah, make a list.

29:10 What are the benefits of having a private vowel reading? Exactly that. So like another emotional moment for each other to be able to say what you want to say to your person.

29:22 And I’ve seen couples do it a couple different ways. You can just do it for each other and not do it during your ceremony.

29:29 I’ve seen some couples do it as a practice run, which is kind of fun. Okay. Yeah. And then I just think it’s a great moment for each other.

29:39 So those are the top benefits I would say. Gotcha. How do couples build in a loan time without making the timeline feel awkward?

29:53 Yeah, just talk to me about it. Talk to me about it. I got moments where you could build in a loan time, but I think that’s 30.

30:00 What’s an example that you could share? That 30, 40 minutes before ceremony, that five or ten minutes after ceremony. that that doesn’t feel awkward because no one has seen you yet aside from your immediate family and your wedding party when it comes to the moments before ceremony.

30:18 So no one’s expecting to see you 30 minutes before you walk down the aisle. There’s that traumatic entrance. So there’s that moment where it won’t feel awkward and then after the ceremony, it shouldn’t feel awkward especially if you don’t allow like this impromptu receiving line and all these congratulations

30:36 to happen. If you have your recessional, you walk down the aisle, you let your venue whisk you away to a private space, and then you take that five, 10 minutes to have that first private meal or just some breathing room where you guys can have those quiet moments.

30:54 Yeah, that makes sense. Okay, so let’s move on to another topic where we’re going to talk about perfection. So let’s think, let’s think this way, presence over perfection.

31:06 We obviously want a perfect wedding, but at to what cost? So, you know, some helpful words of wisdom from me or some, some small things may go wrong, but that doesn’t mean that the day is ruined.

31:21 Couples who are present are usually the ones who can laugh and adjust and keep moving. They’re wedding, the goal is something meaningful, something joyful, something unforgettable.

31:33 And a lot of the times that happens when you have memories that happen that are unplanned, like let the day flow, let the joy flow and just be present and enjoy it.

31:45 So I think the best way to wrap up the idea of perfection is to just come back to the planning, plan as much as you can and then get to that day and say that nothing is going to interfere with me having a joyful day, a joyful unforgettable day.

32:07 And then another great topic, so quickly moving out of perfection, because I’m a perfectionist and I understand the idea of wanting to be perfect, but you can’t always have perfect And I think that sometimes imperfect is the perfect.

32:23 But another great piece of advice is put your phone away. And I think if you want to be present, I think this goes for anything in life, but if you want to be fully present on your wedding day, put your phone away.

32:37 Yeah, 100%. You know, what are your thoughts on that, Chris? Do you feel like couples should have their phones on them during their wedding day?

32:45 No, not at all. Chris despises phones. I think phones are just a huge distraction, you know, and so many people just spend how many hours of their day staring at their phone, right?

33:01 Have you ever checked your screen time like on- I don’t like when it notifies me. On day? It notifies me every Sunday and I hate that number.

33:11 It’s probably horrifying if you think about it. you know, how, how much time you’re spending each day looking at your phone and just missing out on everything else that’s happening around you.

33:25 Really into the wedding day. So, basically, long talk by Chris. Long story short, there’s no reason that you should be, you know, looking at your phone on your wedding day, be present in the day, take it all in, you know, and just enjoy what’s happening around you.

33:44 Yeah. Well, it’s because phones will quickly pull you out of the moment. Exactly. How many moments on your wedding day do you want to miss?

33:52 Exactly. That’s what you need to ask yourself. Exactly. When it comes to your phone on your wedding day. Exactly. So in a long-winded answer.

34:00 Yeah. No, I think that’s great. With the phone away. Some of the tips that I have for this subject or this piece of advice, it would be to give your phone to someone, give them your lock code, and say you’re in charge of all communication via this phone today, and you need to let me, you need to be my

34:25 filter. Yeah. Filter. Filter, what is coming to me, and make sure that what’s coming to me is important, and only bring me things that are going to bring me joy.

34:36 Yeah. Don’t tell me if anything’s going wrong. So you know, designates someone to hold your phone and take care of all of the small communication needs.

34:50 Something else I to go back to the timeline, something else I do put on on all of our wedding timelines is a point of contact and emergency contact.

34:59 So it’s like if, and we very, very need to use it, but that person is who I would contact If like I needed to talk to the bride like if I need to know the room number that we’re meeting them in or Whatever the case may be like have a secondary person to reach out to If let’s say you’re busy and your 

35:21 phone person’s busy, but having different people to communicate different things to really helps you become Very present on the wedding day.

35:30 Let them know their job and let them you know So let them understand the why behind their job. Say, listen, I’m just trying to be really present on my wedding day and you are the person I am designating to hold my phone or to answer all calls.

35:44 And I just want you to make sure that you protect my joy on my wedding day too. There you go.

35:49 So, and then also let your photographer, videographer and content creator take care of all of the other phone related stuff.

35:58 Exactly. If you really want these photos, these videos those in this content, let them do it, let your team that you hired and you trust take care of it all.

36:08 So I think this is going to be a funny question for you to answer, but what are the pros and cons of checking social media during your wedding day, Chris?

36:16 What are your thoughts on this? What are the pros and cons of checking social media on your wedding day? Well, I already said that you shouldn’t even have your phone on your wedding day, right?

36:26 Why would you need to check social media on your wedding day? Why why do you need to know what everybody what anybody else is doing?

36:34 Yeah, well Chris First of all, yeah, right when when this is you know, this is a day. This is an important day This is you know, one of the most memorable days of your entire life So again, just getting back to the whole like core purpose of this episode like be present on the day Yeah, it doesn’t matter

36:52 what you know everybody else is doing in the social world, you know The virtual world doesn’t matter, just take in what’s happening around you.

37:02 Right. I agree. This question is who should be the person handling random texts or questions, but we already talked about that.

37:09 I think it’s really just like you should know who can handle this job. I think that you know who out of your core people are going to be able to handle the job of filtering your phone, your text, your phone calls and your random questions.

37:26 And then this kind of leads me, so talking about your people, this kind of leads me into surrounding yourself with the right people on your wedding day.

37:35 So if you want to be fully present on your wedding day, you want to really focus on the energy of your wedding party and your family and how much that matters to you.

37:47 So couples need to choose people who can bring calm, who can bring joy and who can bring support. And, you know, what makes, you know, someone a helpful wedding party member and a non-helpful wedding party member, I would say would be like, how, how selfless they can be on your day.

38:09 So I’ve encountered a variety of different wedding party members, a variety of different family members on wedding day. And I know you can’t pick and choose your family, but you can definitely pick and choose your wedding party.

38:22 And if you choose people who can bring that calm, that will help you be present. That will allow you to be present on your wedding day.

38:32 So, I think that, you know, that is a very, very important decision in planning a wedding. And I think at the end of the day, if you want to be present on your wedding day, you should really think, think the wedding party through and make sure that everyone bringing the energy is bringing the right energy

38:54 for your wedding day. 100%. Cool. All right, Jack, so what’s your honest advice for any couple planning a wedding to ensure that they’re staying present on their wedding day?

39:06 Yeah, I think it comes down to higher vendors you trust, create a clear timeline. But don’t obsess over it once the day begins leave that to your vendors choose a reliable point of contact person someone to filter your texts and and filter your messages and put your phone away as much as possible if 

39:30 not completely away. Build in little moments together, little emotional moments. This one’s really important, we didn’t really go into detail about this, but eat and hydrate and take a few deep breaths throughout the day.

39:47 I tell my couples when we’re getting ready and there’s breakfast out, please eat. Any time there’s food available, just try to eat as much as possible.

39:58 I’ve seen couples’ brides almost pass out because they’re starving, so eat and hydrate, drink lots of water in between your mimosas, and then let go of the idea that everything has to be perfect.

40:12 Remember that perfect is, it could be perfectly imperfect as long as you are there and the day is filled with love and joy.

40:23 Get on that dance floor early if you want your guests to dance is also another really great piece of advice for those that want to be present.

40:32 Get out on that dance floor. Pull your friends and family out there with you and just have, build those moments there too.

40:39 Like you’re not only just building moments for first look or vow reading, you’re building moments for your reception, your dance floor.

40:47 Tell your family and wedding party ahead of time what you’re going to need from them. If there’s a plan for extended family formals, if there is a plan for family formals, which there’s always a plan for family formal.

41:00 Whatever the plan is for photos, let them know ahead of time. If there’s a plan that you need them at some point during cocktail hour, let them know ahead of time.

41:11 Let them know. Even if it’s during reception, let them know ahead of time. It’s better when the communications clear. Sure.

41:19 And then also work with vendors who communicate well with each other. Do your due diligence on your discovery calls and make sure that that communication and that team leadership is going to be there that that I’m looking for the word but that looking out for one another on the wedding day even if they

41:41 aren’t part of a team like we are like saying I’ve got your back you’ve got my back and we’re going to work as a team to make sure that this couple has an amazing wedding day.

41:50 Definitely. And then remember that the goal is not to perform on your wedding day, the goal is to live in it.

41:57 So you just have to be present, be present and enjoy it all. And there are ways that we at Limelight take this off of your play as well.

42:08 And we take leadership off your plate. We help you build moments in to create that presence throughout the day. We We build the timelines, we build the family list, we have strong communication and you know everything’s aligned and everything feels relaxed because we’re all part of the same plan.

42:27 So we’re there to capture the day, we’re there to make you feel calm and confident in us and supported and that you’re fully in it and you’re fully invested.

42:38 And we built that aspect of our team because we had such an amazing day, because we got to experience what it’s like to be fully present on a wedding day.

42:53 And then we said we want to recreate that for everyone that chooses us. So yeah. So I think being fully present on your wedding day is not about ignoring the details.

43:03 It’s about preparing, choosing the right people, and then giving yourself permission to let go. The more supported you feel, the more you can actually experience the day.

43:13 So whether you’re working with us at Limelight or not, your wedding shouldn’t feel like something you have to manage, it should feel like something you get to live in.

43:23 Hopefully for all of you to have the most fully present joyful lived in wedding day and wherever you are and whatever you are planning, we love that for you.

43:34 Thank you so much for hanging out with us today. If this episode was helpful, make sure you follow or subscribe so you don’t miss what’s coming next.

43:41 We love hearing from you, so if you have a question, a planning struggle, or an episode idea, email me at Jackie at LimelightEntretainmentNJ.com.

43:50 There’s a really good chance for a question becomes a future episode, and if you’re planning a New Jersey wedding and want vendors who truly care, you can find us at LimelightWedding.com.

44:00 And remember, wherever you’re planning and whatever you’re dreaming, we love that for you. You