The Wedding Do Not Play List: What Should You Actually Put On It?

00:00 Welcome to We Love That For You, a wedding podcast with personality, perspective, and plenty of heart. We are Chris, and Jackie from Lime Line Entertainment, and we’re here to help you plan your best day ever, without the stress.

00:14 Alright, welcome back to another episode of We Love That For You. Today we’re talking about wedding music, with Chris and Jo, um, but not necessarily songs you should play, um, but instead of songs that should be on your not playlist or can be on your do not playlist, so do not playlist.

00:33 Yeah, so the do not play this, that’s we’re going to discuss today is the do not playlist. But yeah, I have a question for you guys.

00:41 How much of a wedding reception is actually planned and how much of it is happening in the moment? Like a question.

00:50 As far as music goes. Yeah. That is an interesting question. Yeah I feel like how much it was planned. I mean I don’t plan anything to be honest with you as far as like the songs for the dance set goes you know I know I know in general what I’m going to be playing you know because I have a conversation

01:10 with the couple during our planning meeting you know what do you like what do you what do you not like genre wise decade wise what are your family and friends into what what are they not into because I want to get a good understanding what everyone and what everyone doesn’t like.

01:24 This way, at least I have a foundation going in there. Yeah. But there’s absolutely no plan beyond that. Getting on their must plays, obviously.

01:33 But it’s really just all about reading the room and just playing the right song at the right time. Yeah, yes.

01:39 Yeah, I mean, I feel the same. I do a little bit of if there’s a specific genre, if there’s something, I sit down with it for whenever I do my prep work before it, but it’s all, other than that, it is all planned.

01:57 I mean, everything is, you know, the, sorry, because we’re talking about the music, but I was thinking about the whole thing itself, like the timeline of it, is, we’re discussing everything with the program, you know?

02:10 So there’s not a lot other than the surprises in the music that we have that isn’t discussed between us and the couple.

02:19 Yeah. So you’re saying there’s It’s like a foundation established before the wedding day on that final phone call, that planning phone call, but you’re mapping out what you can, but you’re still not going in there with an exact science to what you’re playing.

02:38 Well, that’s the trick with the music is that we want to keep it surprising and we want to keep it fresh.

02:43 And like so if we’re you know just had this preset play a lot of play you know It’s that’s not gonna excited anybody.

02:50 So we almost can’t do that. Yeah. Yeah, yeah But you know when the formalities are happening and you know the structure of the reception But so if that if that’s what you were talking about like the formalities and the structure or like the song choices things like that The the song choices.

03:08 I mean the so the the the couples that we talked to they’re gonna give us It’s a handful of songs, I shouldn’t say a handful a little bit more than that, right?

03:16 20, 30, something to that effect. They’re going to give us those songs that they definitely want to hear. They’re going to give us songs that we have, you know, like play this if possible, you know, like if you get to it, they’re going to give us stuff like that.

03:27 And they’re going to give us, don’t play these songs, don’t play these artists, I’m sure you’ll, we’ll get into more of that, but yeah, that’s what we have and that’s the, that’s just the framework.

03:40 Right. You know, so everything else on top of that is going to be weaving through that and finding what’s going to work with that and how do I get these songs to fit in with these other surprises.

03:52 Yeah. So maybe, Chris, can you walk us through or walk our viewers through like what exactly is in the planning form music wise for a couple and where do we find that do not play list?

04:05 Like, tell us a little bit about that music request form. Yeah, basically we set up all of our clients with a planning account.

04:13 Inside that planning account, they can build must playlists and do not playlists. And how many do they have for now?

04:20 Now, we do cap it at 30 and it’s 30 total. So you can have 20 must plays, 10 do not plays, you know, 25 must plays, five do not plays, however you want to break it up.

04:32 But the reason why we do that is because, you know, We’ve found from doing this over the years that 30 is just a really good foundation.

04:39 It gives us enough to know what you like, what you don’t like. We can absolutely guarantee to get on all of your must plays at that point because the list is not extensive.

04:50 It makes sense. And then it gives us the freedom. It allows us to do our job, right? And what’s our job?

04:58 Our job is to play the right song at the right time. Keep everyone up. Keep everyone having a good time.

05:02 Keep that dance floor packed. It allows us to read the room. It allows us to play what we know works in the range of what they enjoy, which is all really, really important in making sure that just everything flows really well, because sometimes if you have these lists that are way too extensive, it’s

05:21 almost like, you got your hands tied behind your back, and then you’re worried, like you’re almost like nervous with every single time you’re hitting the play button, you’re like, are they going to enjoy this or they’re not going to enjoy this.

05:35 It puts you in your head about everything you choose. Exactly, exactly. And if we’re in our head about everything that we’re choosing, then it’s just not going to feel right out on the dance floor.

05:46 And that’s not just us. That’s any DJ would probably say the same thing. So it’s safe to say that there is a percentage of the songs or music for the night plan, but there’s also a percentage that is going to be reading the room and making decisions on the fly based on the energy of the room and improving

06:06 and having great energy in the room. That makes sense. That makes sense. So how do you guys feel about like playlists?

06:14 I feel like do you guys feel like you see a lot of couples coming to you with playlists that are too long?

06:22 Like what are your thoughts on a playlist that is a little too long? I know that you just touched on it a little bit, having your hands tied.

06:31 Like, how do you guys navigate those extensive playlists that are sent to us? Like, if somebody gave us a Spotify playlist?

06:39 They were like, yeah, here’s my playlist. I want them to And it’s like 100 songs deep. And it’s definitely more than 30, yeah.

06:45 You want to take this one, Jeff? Yeah, but how do you navigate that? You know what, so someone recently sent me, here’s our cocktail hour, here’s our dinner, and here is our reception, a complete playlist for everything.

07:01 And what I wish I had communicated, and it’s totally fine, and I’m glad to, like I played from those. But I almost sometimes want to ask like, you don’t think you need to do this, right?

07:11 You don’t have to. I don’t want to put any more burden on you. We’re the DJs, we could do this.

07:15 Like, you know, so don’t feel like you have to. I would do my one advice. You don’t have to do that.

07:21 We don’t have to put together. You know, we got it, like we do. Yeah, so that but yes, it does happen, but you know the other side of it too though I mean, you know if I was planning a wedding I would probably like to curate some playlists so I get it Maybe there’s some fun in that I think people probably

07:35 have a ton of fun doing that So I don’t want to tell them to not do it at the same time, but just don’t think that you have to it’s right, you know Or just have fun in our planning section and and put together those 30 songs you stick to the right because that’s the That’s the benefit of you capping 

07:51 it at 30 is like just you know it just gives them a little bit of, it gives them not much to do and us like, okay I get it.

07:59 You leave this genre, that’s when I look at it, I’m like, oh there’s six alt-rock songs on here. I’m gonna do an alt-rock song.

08:06 Something like that. But then also, I’ve been in situations too where couples have put together built Spotify playlists because every time they hear a song that they like, they’re just adding it to their wedding playlist and then they just, instead of filling out our form, they just hand me over the 

08:26 Spotify playlist, and most of the time, this thing’s extensive, it’s 100 songs long, and then I just have a conversation with them, like, hey guys, this is great, thanks for putting this together.

08:40 But number one, it’s not realistic to get all these songs on within reception, so take out of this hundred, put your absolute must plays inside of our planning form and then I’ll use the rest of this for inspiration.

08:56 That’s kind of how we handle that, you know. And then there’s a clear conversation, you know, prior to the wedding going into it, this way they have an understanding of, okay, I’m not going to hear 100% of this.

09:11 And they’re happy. They’re satisfied because they’re still getting their must plays and they know that we’re going to use it mostly for inspiration.

09:17 And, you know, a lot of times when I’m looking at those lists, I’m like, these are songs I’m I’m gonna play anyway, because these are good, but I can’t guarantee that I’m gonna get a hundred of them on, you know?

09:27 Right. Yeah, well, that makes sense. So when it comes to the Do Not playlist section in their planning, how many songs do we allow for the Do Not playlist?

09:38 Well, like I said before. Is it 30 for everything? It’s 30 for everything. So, you know, they can load it up with Do Not Blades if they want or they can, you know.

09:48 But how many is a sweet spot? like how many do not plays do you think is a good sweet spot for you to kind of have a good idea of what they don’t want to hear.

09:57 What do you like, Joe? The thing is, Well, I don’t know if I, because it’s, This can go a couple different ways.

10:05 I know. The thing is, a lot of people don’t even put songs necessarily. They’ll play artists. Don’t play Taylor. Don’t play this artist.

10:12 Or whatever, you know, whatever the thing is. And so that’s fine. I don’t like to have too many because it limits you, especially if you think that something might really work with the crowd or not.

10:30 But I get it. I mean, you know, it’s fine. I just think, but you think a couple should have a do-no playlist, right?

10:40 I would like to know generally speaking what they don’t like because sometimes it’s like like these very specific songs that I would never play anyway.

10:48 Yeah, yeah. And I’m like, all right. I mean, you don’t like that. It’s good to know. But it’s good to know.

10:52 Because then I’m like, all right. So if they don’t like that, probably I’m not going to like this either. So it’s a little bit of just that game to play.

10:59 But it’s, you know, it’s never a perfect role. You’re never really going to know. Sometimes I’m completely dumbfounded because it’s like, we don’t like this, but we do like this.

11:07 And I’m like, these are like. Similar. It’s very similar, you know? Yeah. It’s just, you know. So it’s hard. It’s not easy.

11:15 That’s why the conversation is more important I think than any specific song that goes on a list I think it’s a good way to start a conversation.

11:22 Yeah, yeah, I for sure Do you feel like it it hinders you when a couple doesn’t have a do-not playlist though?

11:30 Probably not I don’t think so. I don’t even think I don’t have a do-not playlist now because most of the times when a couple does doesn’t have a do-not playlist They’re open to anything.

11:41 Yeah, which is great, which which I absolutely love You know, I love being able to go into an event, just knowing like, I can play anything necessary To get everybody up and dancing, you know, and there’s no restrictions and then I don’t have to worry about it You know, and I feel like that’s I feel 

12:03 like with those I have I don’t want to say the most fun, but it’s like it’s just the easiest to do my job, you know know, and being open allows us to, I don’t want to experiment more, but you know, we have to do these little surprises throughout the night, right?

12:22 Like, we have to try things and see, like, and so, you know, if you’re not, if somebody on the dance floor isn’t loving one thing, the next song is coming anyway the other day I a guy came up to me, he leaned over my facade and he looked like he was really disapproving of what I was playing and me and

12:41 at least me to my next question. My assistant Danny, I was like, what is he saying? And I go, what?

12:45 I couldn’t hear him. And I kept telling him to get him to come back and I’m like, what? And he was obviously disapproving of what I was playing or whatever the problem was.

12:54 And then he walked away and I looked over to our assistant. I go, don’t worry about it. It’s what you’re going to do.

12:58 The next song I put on, whatever it was, the guy came right back. He goes, you know, my bad bro, my bad, because he liked the song, he enjoyed the next song I played.

13:07 So yeah, you know into the next song. Yeah, like so okay that one didn’t work for him the next one did and that’s just That’s just life.

13:13 That’s just how it goes So I encourage that with everybody just be open to it like you know, I mean, I mean this is not an excuse for me I try to play songs that everybody’s gonna like but This is just how it goes.

13:23 Yeah, I think that they’re there are definitely people out there that have strong opinions about music Yes, and I think that would you say that it’s safe to say that if they do have strong feelings about certain songs they should let you know about it right yeah yeah 100% like they should let you know

13:41 if they like absolutely don’t like don’t like certain songs that would be played at a wedding absolutely yes um want them to enjoy their night but kind of kind of like what Joe was saying before you know about um the do not playlist like I would prefer it if it’s like a do not play this particular artist

14:01 Do not play Bruno Mars, right? Do not play Taylor Swift, do not play whoever it is. Rather than, you know, a 30 song do not play list of all random songs, because that makes it worse, that makes it harder for us.

14:17 Because let’s say there’s a do not play list that’s 30 songs long. That’s a long list. But it’s of not playing.

14:24 I’ve seen it before. I’ve seen it before. I know exactly what it And all different artists. It’s all different artists.

14:30 And then you start to look at this list and you start to say to yourself, well, okay, this is all 2000’s pop.

14:37 This is all 2010’s pop. This is, you know, hip hop. And it’s like, well, what am I supposed to play?

14:45 Yes. What do they want to hear? When you start doing the association that I was talking about before of like, okay, they don’t like this, so they’re probably not going to like this, they don’t like this.

14:52 It’s like, then you’re like, okay, because this spider webs in your head. Yes. Yeah. Because I think what happens a lot when it’s those long ones, it’s, I think, I think it’s a lot of times when people are trying to avoid a quote-on quote, like corny wedding or something like that.

15:05 So they’re like, I don’t want this pitiful song. I don’t want this Katy Perry song, whatever. And which is fine, but it just, then you start questioning everything, everything.

15:16 Because now we’re in a position where it’s like, I have to play songs that everybody knows. So it’s by definition it’s pop songs.

15:25 But I can’t fall into this category either. So it’s it becomes and I’m assuming to at that point you are checking this list and checking your DJ crates and your Your focus now is now not on the dance floor your focus is cross-checking.

15:42 Yes, they’re do-not-play list With their what you’re planning next and it becomes now I’m trying to pull up a song within 30 seconds Yeah, because if I don’t pull it up then we’re gonna have dead air Yes, but now I’m like reading through a 30-song do-not playlist and trying to pull up this time Yeah,

16:02 it’s really challenging and gonna hinder the flow of the dance floor Yeah, you know, so stick to specific artists is your suggestion for a do-not playlist.

16:11 Yeah, or or genres or genres So like I had a couple that I was working with last year and They were like, you know we we go out to like night, you know nightclubs when we love nightlife and you know we don’t really want to hear you know pop songs.

16:30 We want to hear like classic throwbacks like fun sing-alongs but we don’t want to hear like newer pop songs. We want to hear mostly like dance music, EDM, things like that and I was like okay like this is cool.

16:44 This is good because you’re giving me good direction. Like we need to be specific. I could do, I could do, I could do a lot with knowing that I have free range with EDM.

16:55 I have free range with fun party sing-alongs. They just don’t want to hear, you know, maybe that 2000s pop, like the Brita Mars thing and the shut up and dance thing and all of that.

17:09 So I have a lot to do with that, but it’s also really, really important to know your crowd, right? So you know when when couples are very specific about their do not playlist It’s like, okay, well, what are your guests gonna want to hear right because if you ask this on the call Yeah, definitely because

17:27 if your guests want to hear what’s on your do not playlist and we can’t play any of that Then you’re not gonna have anyone on the dance floor because they’re gonna be waiting for what they want to listen to you know That’s right, but this just worked out really, really well because this couple knew their

17:45 crowd. That was their crowd. They connected with this music. Everyone connected with it and it was absolutely fantastic. So that’s one thing that you have to be really, really careful with when you’re putting together, do not play this, keep your family and friends in mind.

18:01 You know, because yes, the music, yes, the music we play should be the music that you love, but also keep everyone in the room in mind as well, you know, and don’t disregard the older guests, because they want to get out there and they want to dance too, you know.

18:17 Yeah, that kind of really answered my next question, which was how you would balance like a couple’s, the couple’s preferences with the, with what the guests are engaging with.

18:27 So it’s really just having clear communication before the wedding about their guests, what their guests would enjoy on top of what they would enjoy and molding the night to bounce both.

18:39 It’s all in the communication that the wedding I have coming up, it’s in our, well, I had a conversation with them that said, you know, we’re not a big dancing crowd.

18:49 Yeah. Okay. They knew it. They knew it. They ahead of time. They knew themselves. They know the party and that’s it.

18:56 Like I’m going to do what they asked and whatever, but it’s, you know, it’s less pressure on the situation. So just yeah, just knowing the, knowing the crowd.

19:04 And do you, like, do you prioritize your own taste? I’ve made this mistake a couple times on calls where I go, what are you guys like?

19:13 What are you into? What are you into? And then they tell me, well, I’m really into heavy metal. And you’re like, cool.

19:19 And then I come away from the call going, but wait, am I supposed to play that? Yeah, what is that?

19:23 And so, and actually, I might have even said this on another pod, but they, I remember a guy calling me back, he was like, By the way, I told you, I like this stuff, but I don’t want you playing this thing, you know, so I Yes, yes, yes, so Really like I most people want the people that are there their

19:41 guests to have a time That’s what they want to prioritize so absolutely. Yeah, absolutely So while while we’re on the topic of playlist and we just discussed do not play less I mean we already kind of are touched on the must playlist.

19:55 It sounds like a good healthy number for a must play list is 30 songs. I think so. And it sounds like when couples are giving you playlists of 100 songs, or even 50 songs, it’s a little too much.

20:09 It’s too much. It’s got to be mostly inspired. It’s for inspiration. Yeah, it’s a great, it’s a great list for inspiration.

20:17 It gives you guys a good idea of how you can shape that. Yeah, because if we’re strapped to that 100 song must-by-list, Yeah, then that’s all we’re playing.

20:27 We’re not reading the room, you know, and what happens if those songs aren’t working in the moment Right, you know, we just have to stick with it You know, I mean I was in a I was in a situation years ago You probably remember this where the couple they didn’t want to hear anything past the 80s Yeah,

20:44 they want to hear anything new within like the 80s and it was like all they want to me to play was 60 70s and 80s And that’s it.

20:54 And people like everyone there kept coming up and requesting new or music, and I was like, I’m sorry, but it’s not what the couple wants.

21:02 And that’s right. Halfway through the reception, the couple came up to me, they said, why is nobody dancing? I said, because everybody wants to hear a variety of music, not just the classics, you know?

21:12 So it’s really, really important, you know, to just build your musk plays, don’t make them too much. Don’t give too many restrictions and just allow the DJ to do their job Yeah, and just read the room and have fun with it I have I have one other piece of advice to be clear if you want a song played during

21:35 a dance set And if you are okay with it being played during dinner or like at another time when you put it on the Yeah, yeah It because I mean a lot of times we’re making the decision like all right This doesn’t seem like a dance song.

21:47 This seems like a dinner song, you know Yeah, I would say that you guys should make that judgment, though, no?

21:53 Well, sometimes it’s tricky. Sometimes it’s tricky. You’re not sure. Yeah. Yeah. So because you could play a song and then people will be like, oh, wait, save this for the dance act.

22:02 Yeah. Yeah. So for example, last weekend, right, I had zombie by the cranberries on my must playlist. Right. And you know, I was saying, and the rest of their must playlist was there was a couple of rock songs on there.

22:17 Yeah. But the rest of it was like just like a beat dance music. And I kept saying to myself, I’m like, where am I going to place this?

22:23 And then I started to think like maybe I should put it on towards like the trail end of dinner. Like maybe it’d be like kind of like a good like lead-in transition piece, right?

22:34 Might turn into a sing-along. Yeah, but then I kind of like, yeah exactly. Might turn into a sing-along. Might turn into a But then I caught wind from a couple of guests that night that this song was one of the groom’s favorite songs and he needed to be out on the dance floor for this song.

22:54 Thank God you, those guests told me that. So I was like, yeah, it’s because a couple of people they came up and they were like, oh, you’re gonna play zombie, you’re gonna play zombie tonight, right?

23:02 And I’m like, yeah, it’s on their list. And then, well, that’s the groom’s song. He’s got to be on the dance floor for that.

23:10 So I’m like, okay, perfect. And then I played it like during a dance set, now you say to yourself, how do you throw that in the middle of a dance set, right?

23:20 You have to kind of just like MC that transition, right? Like you might be moving, you know, you might be playing like pop songs, dance songs, whatever.

23:29 And then it’s like, okay, well, zombie is just this low tempo rock song. So basically what I did was, I just, I pulled the music back.

23:39 I pulled the dance track back when it was kind of coming to a close and I just got everyone hyped I was like you guys having a good time out there and everybody was like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah and I was like how about you make some noise for the bride and groom if you’re having a good time and everybody

23:53 was cheering again and then I was like speaking of the groom This one is for you, you know, I hear this is your jam I was like this one’s called zombie by the cranberries and then I came in with it and the place lit up Like it erupted, so it was absolutely perfect.

24:12 It was a good transition, and the must play that I didn’t necessarily think was gonna work that great, worked phenomenally.

24:20 Right, right, right, right. Yeah, so I think those things being communicated beforehand would be a good decision, but it doesn’t have to be, it’s just a situation like that.

24:29 It would be important for sure. Yeah, yeah. So at the end of the day, like how much freedom do you think a couple should give their DJ?

24:37 A good amount. I mean, it’s a matter of trust. And that’s the trust that we build on the conversations beforehand.

24:44 And I try to encourage that as much as possible. The more freedom that we get, the more that we’re able to have this back and forth energy with the crowd.

24:56 And that’s everything for me. So I think giving them as much freedom as they can is a good idea, you know, some direction, of course, some guidance, but give them, give them creative freedom.

25:09 I don’t know how you feel to it. Yeah, 100%. Yeah, I really can’t add to that. Yeah, you should definitely have a good amount of freedom for sure.

25:18 Yeah, that’s awesome. And then as far as like information that is valuable, I guess to kind of jump right back to what we were just talking about, like letting the DJ know if there are songs on there if you want them play during dinner, if you want them played during dance sets, it’s very important information

25:39 to include. Yeah. Definitely an impression. And inside of our planning account, you could put notes next to each song. I was going to ask that question.

25:47 Yeah, for couples that are planning and you’re building this must playlist, put a note next to a song. If it’s got special meaning to it, for example, zombie by the cranberries, I want to dance to this song.

26:01 Okay, cool now. I know I’m placing this in the dance set. Yeah, it doesn’t matter where I think it belongs Like I’m throwing it in the dancer.

26:09 I’m gonna figure out how it’s gonna work You know, so that’s right any songs with special meaning like that definitely put a note next to to the request And that’s gonna help out your DJ team tremendously.

26:19 Yeah. Yeah nice So at the end of the day though you guys are still reading the room, you know, you’re still reading the room You’re still making decisions So while you’re reading the room and making the decisions on the songs, as you’re playing their must plays and you’re keeping their do not plays in

26:35 mind, what are you actually watching and thinking as you perform throughout the night? Mm, as far as the their the reaction of the crowd.

26:47 Anything. I mean, what are you thinking as you’re like reading the room? You’re making these decisions like what are the thoughts going on in in your head?

26:56 What are you watching? What are you looking for? Oh, I could tell you the it’s so you can get like let’s say a three song Let’s say I’m playing like like Spanish music whatever and I’m you know this is killing it’s going really great and in my head I’m like I can’t stay here all day Yeah, I’m gonna like

27:16 something’s gonna. I’m gonna have to go in a direction so what’s going to be the segway, you know, and it’s not going to just be something that’s just going to go out of left field, and you know, it could be in some instances, but I try not to, I try to make it flow.

27:30 And so I’m thinking three or four songs ahead. Wow. But also, I mean, not to like, you know, not to distract from what’s happening on the dance floor, which is just that like they’re having fun right now.

27:44 Let’s just keep this going as much as possible, you know? So it’s yeah, it’s just like how quickly am I going to transition, how am I going to keep the energy?

27:52 It’s like, how am I just going to keep the energy going? I’m going to keep this from song to song, you know?

27:57 And sometimes that means taking, this is going to sound paradoxical, but sometimes it means taking a little dip into something else that’s a little lower energy.

28:04 I know it sounds. No, that makes sense. In order to rise it back up. Yeah, because you can’t keep everybody at 10.

28:10 Yeah, exactly. You’re right to wear them out. So So that is, in a sense, doing the thing. It’s keeping it flowing in the direction you want it to flow in.

28:19 And I’ve noticed, too, a lot of times, the big sing-alongs, they are lowered tempo tracks. Because everybody’s just belting out the lyrics.

28:29 Not necessarily dancing, super hard. So you’ve got to throw those in. Those are super, super fun. And people love them.

28:37 I mean, usually the other day I ended on, Well, I came and said I ended. It was like three on course that we did.

28:45 That’s great. It was great But they always take me home country roads. Yeah Sweet Caroline, which is I guess you could say it’s both down tempo and up tempo It’s yeah, and then one other oh piano man You know, yeah, but it’s like those were the biggest songs in the night And it was just people sway massive

29:03 singing along whatever. Oh, and and actually the lot the real last song was is a theme from New York New York by Frank Sinatra.

29:10 I heard the same thing, where it’s just, you know, so I really love it. That’s how you want to end the night, wrapped around your friends and family, singing at the top of your lungs.

29:18 Yeah, that’s 100%. At least my ideal ending of a night. Yes. So that’s awesome. And everybody kept coming up, like, I know you got to leave.

29:27 Can you do one more? And they’re like, I know you have to leave. I had an encore the other night too.

29:31 That’s a good feeling when you get an encore, right? Great, great. But yeah, like also just looking out there, you know, getting back to what you said earlier Jack.

29:41 What I’m doing is I’m also looking at like the different groups of people that are out there on the dance floor.

29:46 And rather reacting. Yeah, it’s like, okay, you have your younger guys and then you have your younger girls and then you have like your older guests.

29:56 And let’s say they’re all out there together. So funny. Right? And it’s like, okay. Like, if everybody’s enjoying what I’m playing now, perfect, I’ll stick with that.

30:06 But then, like you said, Joe, you can’t stick with it for too long. So it’s like, who am I engaging with next?

30:12 Well, the older guests look like they’re getting a little gassed. I’m going to play something for them. Right? So then you play something for them, and that keeps them out there.

30:20 And then you play one or two more songs that go along with that. And then you’re like, the bridesmaids look like they need a little something right now.

30:27 So then you play like, you know, a big like, you know, girls sing along, you know, and then you play like, you know, a track for the guys.

30:36 And that’s kind of just how you just keep everyone out there and keep everyone engaged. Yeah, that’s pretty cool. It’s very interesting.

30:43 How quickly can you guys tell if something isn’t working? Immediately. Point two. Point zero, zero, zero. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, if you throw it on and it’s like a cricket, so we’re one or two people start walking off the dance floor You’re like, okay, I gotta get out of it.

31:00 Yeah, my entire nervous system tells me what I don’t have to stray from it. You start to sweat. I don’t even have to look up on the laptop I’m just like it didn’t work.

31:09 You can feel it. You immediately tense up. Yes. Yeah, but I have but I have A lot of A’s it strategies for that.

31:16 So definitely. Yeah. Yeah Well, I’ve been I’ve been out of a song before the chorus. Yeah in a situation like that.

31:24 That’s thinking that. 100%. I’m guessing you probably already know exactly where to go to get out of it. Well, there’s some safe options, of course.

31:33 Go for a safe option, quick. It gets back to what you were saying before, thinking three songs ahead. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

31:39 And so, right, and so I could just go to the next one. Yeah, very true, very true. Yeah, you’ve already got that next three songs planned out.

31:46 So, yeah. Um, yeah, so can you think of a wedding where the original music plan completely changed? Like, I know you just talked about the one that wasn’t allowing anything past the 80s.

32:03 Did they change? Did they let you change the format up and let you start playing completely a variety of songs?

32:10 But that was the only time, really. Yeah. Well, I don’t know. There’s one I can think of a long time ago.

32:15 like I was still I was not doing photography yet for the company and I was just I was I was your DJ assistant you were or I was your media assistant I was taking photos of the events you remember the one where it was just all classic rock no it was a long time ago it was all classic rock and I want to

32:38 say that they came up and they said the same thing they’re like what’s going on why isn’t anyone dancing. And you’re like, I think it’s because we’re kind of sticking to one genre.

32:49 I don’t remember this one. You were kind about it. And then they were like, do what you got to do, get people on the dance floor.

32:54 And then the last hour, because it was after I left, I went home an hour early. And you were like, as soon as you left, they let me change up the format.

33:03 Yeah, that’s because it was like 15. It was like a long time ago. Okay. Okay. Gotcha. Probably like 2014, 2013.

33:10 Okay. Okay. Yeah, I haven’t I haven’t had that explain only only minor things but not where the you know yeah every everything switches up like where the original music plan completely for the most part everybody knows what they want to hear with their guests.

33:25 I feel like yeah I feel like that that our couples planning they are a lot more knowledgeable to of like weddings they’re all going to weddings they’re all researching weddings and they just want to have a good time so.

33:40 The thing that I forget But occasionally is that even though me and the, that the bride and groom and I are the couple and I are in on how this is going to go, that the people there aren’t necessarily.

33:55 So the other night, it was, she wanted an hour and a half of EDM at the end of the night, which was great.

34:01 And for the most part, people were loving it. But I kept having people come up, like, I want to hear this hip hop song or I want to hear this.

34:07 And I’m like, you see what’s going on here? like, I’m not just, you know, but, not that I would say that, but I’m just like, I, you know, I’m making errors.

34:16 We’re in a format right now. But yeah, but I would just say to them, like, oh, no, I’m sorry. This is, this is, um, this is with the bride and groom.

34:22 And actually one lady was like, oh, okay, if it’s for her, okay, then, then you’re fine. Yeah. She said something like joking like that.

34:26 So it’s, but they’re not always, they, they think it’s just me making that decision sometimes. So I, I forget that occasionally, you know.

34:33 Well, that’s a good thing to say too, especially if you’re like, you’re doing what the couple have requested you to Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

34:39 You should And that leaves me to my next question, which is about guest requests. Now, I know we’ve touched about this on past episodes before, but how do you guys handle or how do you decide whether to play a guest request?

34:54 You know, hold on, before we get to that, since we’re talking about do not play lists, you know, it’s always awkward when a guest comes up and requests a song that’s on the Or does that also bring you right to guess for quite a lot?

35:07 It does happen a lot. And then you let them know, I mean, I always let them know, like, hey, thanks so much for coming up.

35:13 But unfortunately, that’s on the do not playlist. So I can’t get it on. Is there anything else you want to hear?

35:18 That’s kind of how I handle that. That’s right. But then they just don’t want to hear that. And they’re just like, well, what do you mean?

35:26 You can’t play it. And I’m like, well, I’m sorry. The bride and groom don’t want to hear it. Yeah. And then they leave, and then three minutes later, they’re coming up and asking for that song again.

35:36 We’re sending someone else up. We’re sending someone else up to ask for it. And then it just gets really awkward.

35:41 Oh, no, no, let’s tell you that the couple doesn’t want to hear it. And then the third person that comes up, oh, the bride said it’s okay.

35:50 I was just gonna say, that’s the sweet thing. Oh, no. Well, did she? Yeah. Why don’t you bring the bride up here?

35:56 Make such an awkward. And give me the okay. I know. You know because if I play in a do not play song, especially if the bride and groom feel strongly about that, they put it on this list, that’s not cool, you know, right, right.

36:11 Yeah. That kind of thing happens a lot. Yeah. That’s awkward. Yeah. Especially when the booze is flowing and everybody’s drinking, they’re just like, you could play this song.

36:21 Yeah. Yeah. Well, not talking about anything specifically on the do not play list, how do you guys handle or decide whether to play a guest request.

36:30 Like, what dictates whether you’re going to play it, or if you’re going to play it a little later, do you tell them?

36:37 Honestly, I mean, I love requests. I don’t, I’m not one of these guys, it’s like, is not a rejection. I mean, if, you know, it’s someone coming up saying this thing is going to work with you.

36:47 Yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s excellent. Why wouldn’t I take that suggestion? However, I wouldn’t take I think you can feel out the good ones.

36:52 Yeah, I would, yeah, I mean, I’ve played enough gigs, I’ve played hundreds of gigs, and yeah, you could, you know, what songs generally work well and don’t, and so sometimes I just don’t want to risk it, you know, if it seems too out of left field, I’m like, I just can’t, especially not with the genre

37:12 that I’m in or like even if I think maybe it would work, but like, not now, you know, it’s about timing, and so sometimes I just have to, you know, just, you just kind of have to go off instinct a little bit.

37:24 Yeah, exactly. If they come up with a great request then you play it and if you can play it at that time because it mixes well with what you’re playing Then fantastic if it’s not gonna work in that moment then you still accept the request and then you play it at a later time Where it makes sense maybe

37:39 during like cake not cake-cutting but maybe during dessert or something like that or yeah Yeah, you know that down time I don’t for a coffee.

37:47 I don’t really appreciate when people say like I need it next You know, I need this one next except when it’s the right room if they yeah people do that a lot Oh, yeah, I need it next.

37:56 Yeah, yeah, you know But it can’t if the bride and groom. I mean I yeah, it’s like you know Went because and it’s not just because like we’re working for them It’s not really that.

38:06 It’s really just more like Whatever they’re dancing to that’s it’s their energy that everybody else is feeling off of anyway Yeah, so would you prefer that these guests instead of the guests coming up to requested would you prefer the couple comes up and ask for it?

38:22 I don’t want them to be interrupted. Like, are you saying like for a guest to go up and have the couple come up and get the request?

38:30 They’re all dancing and the couple is dancing and then there’s a definite request for next song that the couple is all for.

38:38 Would it make more sense for one of like the bride or the groom to go up and ask for it?

38:42 Oh yeah, if they want to. Not to like go out of their way to ask for it. No, I love that.

38:48 When they come up and ask for something, I would like to have the guest requesting point at the brighter groom.

38:55 If they give the thumbs up then, yeah, yeah, if we get the thumbs up from them, then fantastic. Just trying to make it easier communication for you guys.

39:04 And even that you guys are thinking about songs and your three songs ahead and your loading decks and trying to hear the requests at the same time is a lot and then you just want make sure that it’s going to be something that’s going to work for that bride’s energy.

39:20 And then in that situation, if the request is completely out of left field, it doesn’t match anything that we’re playing right now.

39:28 It doesn’t match anything that we’re playing right now. If it’s coming from the bride in a groom, you could still make it work, right?

39:36 Because you can kind of, yeah, like what I said before, you could just kind of MC your way through it where you pull the previous track back and you just let everyone know we got something special going out for you know so and so yeah yeah and you know let’s make sure that everyone gets out to the dance

39:54 floor for this one here it is and then you come in with it and then everybody’s like oh yeah this is for them let’s go right you know as soon as people know that it’s the energy exactly well ultimately you guys are just trying to build energy right so you’re I’m just trying to keep that energy once you

40:12 have it. You’re trying to keep it moving. Yeah, definitely. So is there a formula for building that packed dance floor energy or is it kind of like each night is a different puzzle?

40:23 I think every night is different, but I think the most important thing is just having variety in the music. Very true.

40:31 Variety and for me, it’s just pretend you’re out there with them, put yourself in their shoes. You know, that’s not formula, but that’s my philosophy around it.

40:42 And when it comes to like building the energy, do you feel like pacing is important, like pacing things out? Yes, yes.

40:50 And if there was, you know, if there was a formula, we would stick to it every night, and it would be, you know, but it’s still surprises me, and I’m sure you feel the same, how wildly different every crowd is.

41:02 And that’s a weird thing to like even, but it’s so true. So you said pacing, pacing the night, pacing the have to have to have to pace it.

41:15 Like and especially because like you said that the the end should be something really big. The end should be this every but and so if you’re not building to that the that moment is going to feel it if they’re not on the dance like it’s weird to be like all right now I need everybody out here like and

41:32 yeah they haven’t been out there in a half hour like it’s you know if They’re there already, and then it’s like this big song, big song, big energy, and it’s just Keith’s rising, Keith’s rising, and then it’s like, all right, everybody time to go home and they’re like, no, one more song.

41:45 You know, you’ve built that energy there because they don’t want to leave. Right. And you don’t always want to start off with older songs, right?

41:54 I hear that a lot for some reason. Like, we’re thinking of starting with older songs to the older guests and then kind of moving through the decades and then all the newer stuff.

42:06 I think it’s a misconception because what if you start off with older stuff and people just aren’t digging it? I completely agree.

42:14 So I’ve been in situations where actually it’s been happening a lot lately where I’ll play newer music, not necessarily new new but maybe from the past decade or 15 years or whatever.

42:29 and I’ll just rock that for the whole first dance set. And the second dance set is when I’m playing disco and A.D.s.

42:39 And maybe even a 60s throwback. That’s fun. And then, but I’m also mixing in newer tracks with that stuff. Yes.

42:50 And it’s kind of like, I don’t know. It just brings this whole everybody together. Yes, energy to the space. It works really well.

42:58 the mistake I used to make a lot when I was younger was I would look at a play like a you know the most playlists and everything and I’d be like I can’t play that till the end I think that’s too good I can’t play that that’s too good I don’t save anything anymore I can’t you try to map it out ahead of

43:14 time well not so much that you’re mapping it out but you’re pushing everything great until the end right like all the great stuff until the end and then you but then many of people waiting all night they’re waiting all night so open with with some great open with the best.

43:29 Open, do it, just throw it out there. Start the energy rate. And then people are like, that’s great. I’ve had my assistants tell me before, like in the first dance set, like they literally have said to me like, man, you’re coming out hot.

43:42 What are you saving for later? Right, I’m like, I don’t know, but I’m gonna figure it out. Right now they’re raging, and I’m not gonna, and I’m gonna keep that going, you know?

43:53 I completely agree, you do have to be careful with it. of course, if there are some certain songs that you want to keep until the end.

43:59 But there’s now I have such a library of, you know, I mean, internally I understand like you could, we’ll make this work, you know.

44:07 Yeah. Well, that was a misconception that you kind of clarified here, but what are some other random misconceptions you feel like are out there when you think about songs and song choices and playlist and things like that?

44:22 I would say sometimes people Sometimes people imagine certain songs as being corny, but they don’t realize that they’re actually great sing-alongs.

44:33 Yeah. You know? And, you know, obviously, You’ve been afraid of that happening, I think. Yeah, yeah. And obviously, like, this isn’t for everyone, right?

44:42 But the song shout, right? A lot of people are like, oh, I don’t want to hear that. I’ve heard it a million times.

44:49 But every time I’ve ever played that song, People go nuts! Yeah, people go absolutely not or the song sweet Carolina, right?

44:58 Yeah, again, please cliche song, right? So some people listening might roll their eyes right now, but you know, again, it’s not for everyone But every single time I’ve ever played that song Everyone loves it and it could be in the middle of a dance set too.

45:16 I know obviously you got to play like a Re-drama obviously you got to play like a re-drama of it So you got to play the right mix of it.

45:22 But like literally every time I play that song, it just works, everyone sings it, and it brings everyone together, older guests, younger guests.

45:31 I mean, I’ve had people like 20, in their mid 20s, on the dance floor singing that. I don’t know why I still feel nervous to play.

45:37 I don’t know why. For that, for the reason that you said, like, they’re gonna like this, they’ve heard it everything.

45:41 But the other day, it was one of those three anchors I was telling you about, but an older man walked up to me and he goes, one of the best classics is Sweet Caroline.

45:50 And I was like, I know. And he’s like, you gotta play it. And he’s like, you know, like really? Like, please, please play it.

45:57 And I noticed, it was so funny. I looked over at Danny and my sister and I go, she’d do it, I guess.

46:02 All right, whatever. And so I put it on, they loved it. But he went, not to the dance floor. He went to the side and just watched.

46:11 He just saw it, I swear to you. He wanted to see the reaction of the best sing along. I just wanted to see an action and then he looked at me and he’s like, stop.

46:19 That’s great. Very interesting. Right. He was like, look what I’ve done. He’s like a mob boss. And listen, you know, these songs aren’t going to, they’re not going to work for every single crowd.

46:29 That’s correct. But, you know, don’t be afraid of classic sing-alongs. No, yeah. No, that’s a great misconception that you’re clarifying here.

46:39 Love that. Do you have any misconceptions? Do think so? I don’t think so. of coming up to some quick, funny story.

46:48 So we want to make them quick, because we’re running a little long on time, guys. Let’s do it, let’s do it.

46:53 Do you guys have a funniest guest request? Funniest guest request. Oh man, there was bluegrass. I can do a quick, yeah.

47:02 It was good, it was so good. But it worked. Yeah, it was amazing. It was funny guest request, I didn’t, but it worked.

47:09 Yes, was it a cover? And no. Oh, okay. There’s an old, old, old song. An old, old, old, old, old song.

47:16 There’s one that comes to mind that I can’t say, because it was really dirty. That was funny, but I can’t say it.

47:23 It’s funny. It could be our cake cutting song. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I don’t know, I don’t know. Weirdest.

47:30 In dirty. No, no, no, no, I didn’t say it was dirty. Oh, yeah. Definitely funny. Definitely. Weirdest request you’ve ever actually played.

47:41 Weirdest. Weirdest. Oh, hey, can anybody request weird? Hopefully it was a long time ago and they’re not watching. I can’t think of anything on the top of my head.

47:50 I don’t want, this is not weird, but I want to say that the one. It’s to be funny. Well, the wedding that I did that was basically 90% musical theater numbers, what’s interesting is hell.

48:02 Uh-huh. You know, that was, that was very different. But was there any weird songs that were requested that night? Well, yeah, it’s musical theater.

48:09 Yeah, very true. No, I’m just kidding. Yeah, but they got what they wanted. They got exactly what they wanted. They got what they wanted.

48:16 They had a ton of their lives. Oh, yeah, you know, it was yes. Oh, I know. I saw all the pictures.

48:21 It was wonderful. It was wonderful. And it was actually it was musical theater and it was like So to clarify for the viewers, it was a lot of musical theater songs, right?

48:30 Yeah. as long as you would not hear on a typical wedding dance floor. Never played it. Exactly. So that’s so, yeah.

48:38 Definitely off the cuff, right? A song that surprisingly packed the dance floor. You didn’t think it was going to, but then it did.

48:47 Zombie by the cranberries. Zombie by the cranberries, fair enough. Again, just, it all depends on the crowd. This one’s a good one.

48:54 A song that everyone assumes will work, but never does. Got any of those? A song that everyone assumes is going to work, but never does.

49:08 But often doesn’t. But often doesn’t. Yeah, I’m not going to say never because that kind of really closes our gap, but it’s on the tip of my tongue.

49:26 Everyone requests what kind of song hold on What is it? It’ll come to him right as we’re wrapping up the show.

49:35 It’s gonna come to me at some point I have to think about that. No worries. It’ll come to you. Maybe we’ll just pop it in there So we’re gonna wrap up with some advice for our couples what information will help the DJ more than and giving you a lengthy playlist.

49:54 I think the information that helps the DJ most is kind of exactly the way that we set up our planning is give us, must please, give us, do not please, cap the total of that at 30.

50:10 And then beyond that, just tell us what your family and friends are into, genre wise, decade wise, is that is going to give us the most useful information.

50:23 And don’t overload us with an extensive Do Not Playlist. And that’s any DJ, you know, that’s not just us. You know, any DJ is going to be uncomfortable with a Do Not Playlist of 50 songs.

50:39 Then at that point, you’re just second guessing everything that you’re playing all night long. Yeah, we don’t need our DJs in their head, second-guessing their decision.

50:49 Exactly. You want a confident vendor, no matter what vendor we’re talking about, you want your DJ to be confident in the song selections, in the dance floor energy, and what their job is that evening, so try not to get crazy about playlists and give them a little room.

51:09 room. Yeah. That’s good advice. And then what’s a piece of advice you’d give to couples who want a packed dance floor?

51:19 Get out there and dance yourself. Get out there and dance. Bright and groom. If you want to pack dance floor, you know, be out there in the center of the dance floor having fun enjoying the night, you know, because everyone’s there to celebrate you so you know if you want everyone on the dance floor 

51:38 you got to lead the way yeah yeah and have fun and enjoy it and then you know just like what we said before get you know put trust in your DJ team that they’re gonna do a great job give them the creative freedom to just read the room and play to the room and you’re gonna have a great night right yeah

51:54 I completely agree agree communicate with the DJs beforehand you know communicate with your DJ and And then yeah, just trust, you know, trust, you know, we’re going to do our job.

52:07 Yeah, I agree, trust. So I think that would cover our closing question, which is if couples remembered one thing from this episode, what do you hope it is?

52:15 I feel like we really closed out with great advice and I think that this wraps up this episode about, do not play music, music in general.

52:27 Exactly. Yeah, so thank you for listening. If you have any questions, comments, concerns, please leave them in the comments section for us and wherever you are planning and whatever you are planning.

52:39 We love that for you. Thank you so much for hanging out with us today. If this episode was helpful, make sure you follow or subscribe so you don’t miss what’s coming next.

52:48 We love hearing from you, so if you have a question, a planning struggle, or an episode idea, email me at Jackie at LimelightEntretainmentNJ.com.

52:57 There’s a really good chance for question becomes a future episode, and if you’re planning a New Jersey wedding and want vendors who truly care, you can find us at LimelightWedding.com And remember wherever you’re planning and whatever you’re dreaming, we love that for you.